HOW TO KNOW IF A PERSON IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
HOW TO KNOW IF A PERSON IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
The Golden Formula of Compatibility
When you first met your next “soulmate,” you’ve probably wondered, “Is this really the person for me? How do I know if we’ll work out? How long will it take for us to get tired of each other?”
We don’t know what to look for when meeting someone. We might go through 10 to 20 “soulmates” until we find the one… And then, suddenly, it’s back again: “Oh, you vile, disgusting, insensitive monster! I’m moving in with my mom!”
Friends, if you’re drawn to polyamory, you don’t necessarily need to worry about compatibility. But if you want to build a truly deep, engaging relationship with one person, it’s best to know who’s who and how to determine your compatibility.
THERE IS A WAY OUT
The golden formula for compatibility looks like this:
COMPATIBILITY = GIVE + RECEIVE + UNDERSTAND
Let me explain now:
1. GIVE: Giving is something a person shares easily and naturally; something they constantly radiate. This could be emotion, humor, caring, or organizing a space; it could be purely practical help, or they could be ready to shower others with ideas, motivate, and inspire. One way or another, each person has their own “wave” on which they radiate—it’s what emanates from them, what they give.
2. ACCEPT: Acceptance is what a person desires from others. It’s something they themselves lack the ability or strength to provide, which is why each of us experiences a certain “vacuum,” unmet needs in various areas of life. It’s the same here: some lack emotions, some lack order, some lack help with everyday matters, some lack psychological support, and so on. This is what we desire to accept.
3. UNDERSTAND: Understanding is one person’s ability to correctly interpret the speech, motives, and actions of another. It is the ability to hear, see, and understand exactly what our interlocutor intended to communicate through their actions or words.
COMPATIBILITY is … is … Wikipedia, you say!
“Psychological compatibility is a characteristic of long-term interaction between two or more individuals, in which the manifestation of stable character traits inherent in these individuals does not lead to long-term contradictions that cannot be resolved without external intervention.”
In short, compatibility is when your and their behavior and character traits don’t irritate you. And if, occasionally, they do, you can solve the problem together, without resorting to outside help.
HOW DOES THIS FORMULA WORK?
What a person can GIVE or RECEIVE doesn’t just come from nowhere! It’s dictated by our innate nature, our psychological, or even socionic type!
In short, there are 16 types of people. Each has its own strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to strengths, we give easily and happily, and when it comes to weaknesses, we are happy to receive! I discussed this in detail in my YouTube video, “The 8 Love Languages”: https://youtu.be/LphNIwcED70
Simply put, knowing a person’s personality type allows you to reliably predict what qualities they will exhibit and what they will naturally GIVE. It will also be clear what they lack—and that’s precisely what they will gratefully RECEIVE.
UNDERSTANDING will also be much better between people with similar values, between people who speak the same language. These people must be of the same “element”! Values, psychological language, and element—all this can be determined by determining a person’s sociotype.
WHY DOES THIS FORMULA WORK?
If, expecting good compatibility, we will:
1. ONLY GIVE – this will be ALTRUISM!
If you only GIVE, without UNDERSTANDING the person and their needs, without knowing what they truly need… and you also have nothing to RECEIVE from them—then that’s altruism. And with such a negative connotation of “disservice.”
2. ONLY ACCEPT = SELFISHNESS
If in a relationship you only want to ACCEPT, and you don’t even have the desire to UNDERSTAND the person, or to somehow thank them (or GIVE something, in the end), then this is pure SELFISHNESS. Pooh!
3. ONLY UNDERSTANDING = OBSERVATION
If you’re not interested in engaging in active relationships, have no desire to GIVE and RECEIVE, but you perfectly UNDERSTAND a person’s actions, feelings, and psychological language, then a relationship without GIVE and RECEIVE is simply OBSERVATION. Passive observation.
Now let’s look at more complex combinations.
4. GIVE + RECEIVE = CALCULATION
If your relationship is built on the principle of “you give to me, I give to you,” and you know perfectly well what you have to GIVE in order to GET what you want, but there’s no psychological understanding, no shared values, no empathy—it’s as if you’re from different planets! Then it’s a SETTLEMENT. Or a contractual relationship. Well, that’s… an acquired taste.
5. GIVING + UNDERSTANDING = SACRIFICE
If you GIVE a lot to a person in a relationship, understanding their needs and requirements perfectly; if you UNDERSTAND each other perfectly, and at the same time this bastard gives you nothing in return, then this is giving without a response, that is, SACRIFICE.
6. UNDERSTAND + ACCEPT = USE
If you both UNDERSTAND each other perfectly, there’s a sense of kinship and common ground between you, but you’re the only one ACCEPTING, then it’s not a relationship. It’s EXPLOITATION! And it’s worse than selfishness, because you, [ areshtanska b i sova soul], accepting the other’s sacrifice, don’t reciprocate.
Only the three components of this formula work together!
COMPATIBILITY is when you naturally GIVE what is inherent in you; it’s when you ACCEPT exactly what your partner enjoys sharing; it’s when you speak the same language, when one easily continues the other’s thoughts and there’s no need to waste time on clarification. Because you UNDERSTAND each other!
Socionics will help you identify all three components of this formula. What are they like for you and your partner? I hope this formula will help you choose your soulmate, as well as deepen your relationship with an existing partner.
