LOVE OR INFATUATION?

Falling in love is the joy you feel when “the building materials have arrived, the builders have arrived, the first brick has been laid, and a magnificent project is being planned.” That is, a wonderful person has entered your life, and a relationship is beginning. Some people enjoy this longer, others less. But, essentially, it’s a kind of joy of “acquisition” that fades with time.

Love is a finished house, the result of a long (ideally many years) construction process. Yes, it can be improved and furnished for a long time, and yes, it requires constant maintenance. But a married couple is, essentially, a finished home. And true relationships aren’t built quickly: an expensive, beautiful home requires considerable investment, energy, and effort.

Notice that both love and infatuation are made of the same “bricks and building blocks.” These building blocks are love itself. Relationships aren’t built out of fear, after all!

So, it’s not that falling in love is something fake/cheap/bad. It can simply manifest itself in two ways:
1) The desire to do something for the object of love (to give, to bestow, to serve)
2) The desire to enjoy the object of love (expect attention, gifts, care)

And if love is pure, with a desire to give, this is a good foundation for further building a relationship.

It’s true that sometimes there’s joy in the “imported building materials,” but the “materials” themselves don’t go together…